A Great Feat: Prayer with Footsteps

Every Moment, Every Minute, Every Step You Take
By Ella Lauser
(as seen in Bling Magazine, December Issue)


With the state of the world today, there is a strong current of doubt, complaint and negativity riding high. What can be done to reinstate hope within our hearts? Action, action as opposed to reaction.
Therefore, during this holiday time of year people are finding themselves reflecting upon their accomplishments, their setbacks, their goals and more often than not, the fears that still hold them back. Prayer occurs in great volume, purchases as well. It's the big 'make it count' crusade of the winter season with family, work, friends and yourself. The first step in making a dent on our endless to-do list is the hardest one to make and Christopher Howe is doing just that with every moment, every minute, every mile that he takes to make possible the impossible. Simply put, he is walking from Los Angeles, California in the United States to Brazil. It takes a few times of hearing this for it to actually sink in even as he says, "I'm walking to Brazil, walking- one foot in front of the other." Nope, still not quite fathoming this one. He's doing what?????

Through 10 countries, "I am walking, running, meditating, praying, transforming my life and yours 6,583 miles from Los Angeles to Brazil," he expresses with calm and joyful enthusiasm. A thousand questions spring to mind when he shares his vision and disbelief certainly rears its head but he has already crossed the border between the United States and Mexico. He has already walked nearly 250 miles in a month's time. He has spoken with migrants, pastors, police, and people from all walks of life. He walks through their streets and villages and highways for the sole purpose of eliminating borders and presenting possibility. All of this from a single vision during meditation and an endless supply of enthusiasm and ‘yes’es. He trained for months, sold his car, sold his belongings- bringing himself down to the bare minimum of what it is to be human. On October 5, 2008 he had a proper send off from the Elevate Film Festival where he began his walk for change and breaking down the concept of 'no'.

This seems so big and really when you think about it, it is with the tiniest effort that anything moves from miniscule to infinite. It is in the sheer will of doing it one step at a time, that the world changes in every shape, every form. Beautifully and strangely enough, he doesn't see this as one man's journey; he sees each step he takes as one step for man-kind. And yet, unlike our New Year's resolutions that are primarily based in egoistic terms and last for a week, a month tops- he is doing this incredibly simple and outlandish task for more than a year.

Christopher himself says it best…

What is easy in life is often the most difficult to overcome and what is difficult is often overcome with a single step. So get off the couch! Realize the difference you can make in this world. Realize the divine potential within you by acknowledging it in everyone and everything. Go beyond your expectations of yourself and get involved in something beyond measurement, beyond circumstances and reasons.

It certainly beckons many to stop asking why and start declaring- "Why not?" The hope behind his project is to inspire YOU to see that you can BE anything, create whatever life you can imagine.

Even Christopher considers his plight to be crazy and extreme, before he began the walk he constantly asked himself “What am I doing? I should just stop now, this is crazy!” How many times have you found yourself saying the same thing about dating someone new or applying for a new job? Take this dramatic example and apply it to your life. What about that intention of yours to take that life-long dream trip to India? What about the French lessons you always wanted to take? What about the 30lbs you’ve been intending to lose? As most of us know, it’s sometimes the first step that’s most important but it’s often the commitment to follow through that we lack. Baby-steps, right? Why not go big after you’ve attempted those first few simple goals?

Breaking down the patterns of negative thought- the 'I can'ts', 'I won'ts', and other debilitating mantras are exactly what Christopher Howe takes on minute by minute just as you do in your daily efforts. We are all challenged to keep going but what Christopher helps remind us is to go forth with intention, with love- at least that is his hope. Walking 2.7 miles per hour, eight to twelve hours per day, for over a year to inspire YOU, to challenge your beliefs about what's possible. The I Am Walking project shakes up everyone Christopher encounters, and all who know his plight, to go beyond our 'reason' as he says, “beyond our thinking, seeing what is possible in and above our complaints, above and outside our 'limitations', outside and through our 'boundaries'.” He is a walking, talking metaphor for every aspect of human life- moment by moment.


"So this is Christmas," as John Lennon said, "and what have you done?" What now will you do to go beyond yourself and your notion of what is possible?


For further information on Christopher and his I AM WALKING project visit www.iamwalking.org. He asks for prayers to be sent his way but once again, not for him but for you, for the world, for the change you wish to see. The site has information on his vision, his route as well as regularly uploaded videos, blogs, photos and the prayers that he receives.

Ass You Like It (as featured in Bling magazine)

Ass You Like It

Unknowingly we are all pygophilists, chasing some tail

By Ella Lauser

Anonym-ass. Isn't that what it really is? The ass lurks behind us for everyone else to enjoy, anonymously and in turn making the owner of the ass anonymous.

As Shakespeare said, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
And the sweet, sweet derrière does indeed not need a name to be known although it has the most nicknames than any other body part. Isn't it funny what a conversation or observation of the "bum" entails.

Why are we so obsessed with this particular asset? The anatomy of love, the anatomy of desire stems from a plethora of understandings- be they biological, sexual, psychological, societal, et cetera. We don't think about it enough yet we acknowledge and appreciate it constantly, the "why?' rarely finds itself among our thoughts.

Our fascination with the body is what keeps us upping the population, in all facets. We are programmed to be appreciative and aware when selecting our mates. There is no shame in the truth of what I like to call "ass appreciation." We are all susceptible to pygophilia- sexual arousal or excitement caused by seeing, playing with or touching the (typically woman's) buttocks. I ask who isn't a pygophilist? The ass serves as a very viable resource of sexual arousal and recreation from a far and otherwise. It is the most noticeable, eye catching feature on the human body for both sexes and it offers itself without recognition. The majority of the animal kingdom has some way of parading around their aesthetically pleasing parts. We just get to choose how we accentuate- be it with a salsa dance or a killer pair of jeans.

Curves denote sexual availability, the ability to procreate, and they are often deemed provocative. The most provocative piece, the booty, has been buttoned up and shielded outside of punishment or intimate affairs for centuries. Shame lies in the baring of the rump as it unabashedly makes us aware of the fact that we are human, part of the animal existence that shits, eats, sleeps and yes, fucks. Oh no, let's hide behind the fact that we are civilized- we are far from dogs in heat and baboons with blushing behinds. Are we really though?

The erotic positions that burn images in our minds are directly linked to certain hot spots and the glorious moon that resides on our backside is just a little out of reach from the "pure purpose" of sex, albeit a friendly cousin. Primates know when it's best to tap their partner because they keep a close eye on the badonka-donk that will indeed swell or lady primates will raise their rumps in salute of desire.

Our imagination is often the most fertile ground we rest upon and it could be argued that the fantasy and mystery of what is seen and not seen leaves a trace behind us. Urges don't live in the mind, they live and prosper elsewhere that's why we rarely ponder where these knee jerk reactions come from- we're not thinking about them, we're just responding. And for the record, all you "tit" men out there- it's argued that tits were made to resemble the butt. Look it up!

Rules of Engagement: Battle of the Sexes (as seen in Bling magazine)

Rules of Engagement

Battle of the Sexes in the Dark and On The Dance Floor

By Ella Lauser

Fever to tell, I’ve got a date with the night and I’ll most likely encounter the usual distasteful displays of debauchery that go hand in hand with cocktails and sweaty masses.

Sex kittens, street-walking contradictions, sugar and spice and everything nice… yes, I agree that us ladies are a coquettish concoction of confusion at times. It’s a thrill to be genuinely appreciated from across the bar while we sip on our cocktails or lick salt and annihilate a shot of tequila but for the most part men lose their cool before they’ve even begun the game. Checkmate- and we’re the queens that you’re attempting to play as unsuspecting pawns. We know it’s not easy, we can be a formidable enemy but if you play well, you will be asked to play again.

How is it that regardless of hemisphere, continent, country, city or district the same scenarios occur? Every Monday morning I hear the same re-told story by a water cooler or Xerox machine or just over coffee: “Ugh, Friday night was such shit! This guy just wouldn’t get a clue and kept on pestering me.” Men aren’t clueless- maybe they’re just not clued in. To be human is to be sexual, to breathe and certainly to desire an ego-feed and to blow off steam at the end of a hard work week. Friday nights are a blur of skin, smoke and liquor. Never satiated unless often left alone because battles of the sexes and their minds make matters worse than better. It’s the unending hangover that looms in the rafters of clubs and clings to the condensation on the sides of pint glasses. Can we escape the crash, clutter, chaos of mixed messages and hypocrisy of being from two different planets? Are we though, really? No, we’re equally looking for recognition in the end – but generally speaking, the avenues of getting there are as opposite as our genitalia and equally fitting. It’s all so puzzling isn’t it but it wouldn’t be complete without two to tango.

Going out and getting gussied up is certainly a nod in the direction of male suitors but there is nothing more disappointing than garish guys clutching and making nuisances of themselves. Ladies, gentlemen, and those who fall by the wayside of these categories- if we are to embark and transcend, appreciate the goods, lift and drink our spirits together in dark corners or under black lights then take heed of these seven rules of engagement when hitting up the club scene:

7) A Smile of Appreciation goes a long way… silence does speak volumes, and the best compliment is one of reverence or a wry yet endearing awareness. Make note of the beauty that you find yourself admiring and know that in so doing you might just be making friends with the enemy. Nothing is sexier than a smile coming from a guy that appreciates what he sees. It makes us feel attractive and not in a seedy way, plus we become aware that nothing has to come from it, it’s safe. We’re not obligated to engage but know he’s game.

6) Speaking of things better left unsaid… some things are better left undone, which brings us to our next rule of thumb. Don’t ask for a number and not dial, or worse keep asking after being told “No.” What happens in a conversation one random night does not need to play out and play on beyond the bar a lot of the time. Going the distance and asking for digits often feels like a notch on a suitor’s belt and if you’re not genuinely interested in the girl, don’t bother.

5) To Buy Her A Drink or Not To Buy Her A Drink, that is a damned good question!

Ah, yes the problematic stance on the fence between the sexes. Buying often leaves obligation, give to get, right? Well, most women, like most people, appreciate gifts but not with strings attached. Roofies aren’t the only thing that we fear being slipped into an unsuspecting drink- expectations and ownership are a fearful combination. However, there’s never a more clear moment of stranger danger than when I’m offered a drink from a random guy at a bar. I’ve known and heard about too many incidents to play dumb about this rational fear. Alcohol blurs lines in any case and with communication already being a bit of a challenge in the first place, the possibilities for a mess are endless. Nothing is less sexy than the absence of choice and when people are too inebriated to make them, and this can be applied to a plethora of situations, well, it’s problematic to say the least. Drink purchases are often an opener in conversation I realize but it’s a generic and often wary one. Drink responsibly, and proposition with just as much sense.

4) Ladies are not dolls on a shelf, although I must say women are an aesthetically pleasing lot. We have a good nose for game and we can smell agenda from a mile away. If sex is not on our menu for the evening, sniffing your agenda to get in our pants is a most assured way to turn off the heat and things will get icy. I’d venture to say that women just want men to come as they are and not come on to them. Blatant come-ons make a lass feel cheap and uncomfortable. Better to be a fool and authentic in the cumbersome truth of meeting at a watering hole with not much to say aside from the weather. The fool is often wisest. What I mean to say is… being foolishly real and vulnerable is a very attractive quality not to mention that it produces better results. What does the fool have? Simplicity, simply put… the best game is no game at all but that doesn’t mean checking your morals, manners, or general common sense at the door when you walk into the sex games afoot at a club.

3) A Quick Glance Should Not Be Mistaken As A Romantic Invitation… scanning the room happens, we get bored, we get curious, everybody takes a gander at what’s around. If eyes settle upon you for a moment and don’t return, it’s not destiny for us to marry and have a thousand babies. If eyes are felt upon our necks, we often look up to see what has taken an interest but this should not be mistaken for approval or a come on. Now, if we hold your gaze or have a smirk of sorts that is an entirely different story. Take note that this is a fine line, to be broached by an aware presence… not a massively drunk beer goggled arrogance. Most women, in my experience, don’t go out into the night with the expectation to go home with someone or meet their life partner but to have a good time and maybe get a few genuine acknowledgments.

2) Most Compliments Are Better Left Unsaid… I can’t hear you, you can’t hear me, the music is blaring and the truth is you couldn’t tell if my eyes were black, purple or green so don’t bother telling me that my peepers are pretty. Every line, is a line even if it’s applicable to the lady you’re attempting to service. We’ve heard it all before and it’s better to just keep it to yourself; in fact I hear that most women get turned on by an intelligent or witty remark as opposed to a saccharine supply of prose. If you want to spit a poem dripping with metaphors at us on a Friday night, plan on spending a lot of Saturday mornings at home, alone. It’s a total turn-on to be taunted a tad bit as opposed to mooned over, regardless of what the art of wooing calls for in more chivalrous times.

1) Look But Don’t Touch unless it’s a well planted passing move on the high-waist with an accompanied “excuse me” as your meander through a tightly packed room. That’s delicious and the right touch, is the good touch which does just about any body, yes literally, good. It’s not that we’re frigid or that we shudder in fear of men or what lies beneath but being touched without invitation on the dance floor or at the bar is so off-putting. Putting a woman in control of how and where is the first foot in the door, and although we may be animals underneath it all, ladies prefer to be handled with kid gloves at first glance and approach. Don’t mistake a girl letting loose as being loose. Getting heated and heavy with her assets on the dance floor without an invitation will leave things frozen or bring about a quick, hot slap. Having sex on a dance floor with my clothes on makes me think of a bad college “Wild On” excursion that is better left on late night cable TV and far, far away from my reality.

Live by these rules and failure will come as softer blow. It’s all a game and we are but just players on the scene, have fun and have at it.

*Cautionary note- I am attempting to speak on behalf of the ladies and not so much the man-eaters who decidedly break ALL the rules. Boys, fend for yourselves! And as my dear friend Robert puts it- “When it comes to hoes, nobody knows.”